The last update really wasn't a long time ago, I know. But it feels like much has happened since then. Well... feels like it's been a long time, I suppose I should say. I suppose deviantart has come to be my favourite place to put my life updates. It's not that there are people here I want to specifically share things with... It's not like dA is some overwhelming, understanding, comfortable place... No... Far too big for that. How many members are there, really? Around 7 million or so, correct? Very impressive for such a specialist website... All about art.

It's like a city. It's like a place where people come and meet to talk... to buy and sell... to entertain... to break the law... the enforce law... to show off... to complain... I'm really rambling without a cause here. I don't have a resolution to all I'm saying right now. I think... despite my pathetically small and unnoticed gallery... and despite my just mediocre artistic abilities... I think I've taken more out of this website than most members. I think I frequent it more than many. I think I owe it more than so very many. I don't think I've ever really mentioned to anybody or regarded to myself at all exactly how I found this place. Exactly how I established what I have.

I've been an internet deviant in general far longer than I've been a member of deviantart. Granted, I've been a deviant of art since long before this website was even established... August 7th, 2000 for those who don't know. Hell, I've been drawing and loving art since before Dmusic was even around; 1997. Drawing became writing... writing became stories and poetry and walked me right into the close circle of friends I have. Art made me who I am. Music... literature... acting... every wing and every aspect of what art is. It all contributed somehow or another.

I digress though, as that's not the main topic here. How I discovered deviantart... Well, the site I'd previously frequented before dA (though Side7 gave me the first link I ever saw to this place, I didn't join from there) was a little website called flashplayer.com (formerly...). As a younger member there I made hand fulls of friends, involved myself in a bit of controversy and even upheld a rule or two. Well, a friend of mine named David in August of 2005 linked me here in one way or another... I don't recall exactly how. I'd viewed a few galleries and became quite intent on establishing myself a newest artist here. It's that anti-climactic.

Following my registration I made a few friends almost right away... There was Melanie, a few flashplayer members, a handful of others I've since forgotten... And, of course, Erikka. This was all in my first breath of deviantart. During these months I didn't really do much in the way of art, and rather got to know people. I enjoyed the forums from time to time... I got closer and closer with Erikka, eventually developing into a quick relationship. That relationship had ironically led to my final days here for that first wind. I'd been going through a lot in my real life... I didn't really know what I wanted and everything seemed wrong. I abruptly and horribly left Erikka at the time and slowly pulled away from deviantart... Stopping in maybe two times over 2006 overall. No journals exist from that time... Not from me. My internet life had essentially become a nuisance... absolutely nothing to me anymore. Being the trendy fellow I was, I joined myspace and facebook and all that of course... But it was my time being a human being away from my computer. Something I'd long deprived myself of.

At about the end of 2006... The later half in general when school had really started to kick in once more. My sophomore year of high school... I started appearing far more frequently online. All websites... all on msn.... I started making new friends online again while keeping my real life healthy and apart from it all. As the time progressed the two lives became somewhat intertwined and they've remained healthfully balanced since. I turned 16 January of 2007 and quickly got my driver's license... Putting a little more emphasis on my real life issues. Life aside from the internet, that is. I believe March is when it came crashing down... I remembered the internet again when my friend offline was killed in a car accident... A very good friend of mine. One of the most persistent and strongest people I ever knew. The reason I chose to become more a fighter as I am today...

So I was back online frequently again in March of 2007. This dragged into early April 2007 when I found myself just randomly contacting Erikka for the first time in about a year over msn. We quickly found ourselves together again (with a bit of a mishap in May that we made it through together) and I made my return to deviantart... 2nd wind, I suppose. It was just a clump of peppered appearances here and there... a few journals... a few lyric submissions... Eventually, however I did find myself full time here again. I was drawing again, writing again... uploading... I even took up photography with a bit more gusto. I was trying... for the first time in so long I had motivation again. I wanted to do something... I wanted to be called an artistic person. I wanted to be around to discuss it all with the love of my life, Erikka. Everything... frankly became perfect. It never interfered with what I have in my offline life. I'm closer to my friends than ever... At the same time I'm balancing this life online and this extended wing of perfection with Erikka.

It takes looking back on things sometimes.... Giving all that you've really worked for and attempted and gained its attention again. Right where I'm standing... it's no different from the perfection of April 2007. It is the same life... The same atmosphere. I can breathe and it all tastes and feels the same. The difference is only myself. I think I've become a more aware and appreciative person. I think I've learned after so long how to handle situations with more fortitude... Being able to see all the options. And I owe a lot of it to this very website.

I lot of people say the internet world is just corrupt and insane... They say it's foolish to take some things online so seriously. Why though? Is it because they see it of only a source of reference and jokes? A place of petty communication with people you could just go out and enjoy the presence of? It is more than that... Isn't it what peace has wanted for so long? Isn't it just another step toward what so many people want? It connects the entire fucking world! I could speak to somebody in the middle of bloody China with a few clicks. In a heartbeat I could send a million copies of a message to a million different people around the globe. They could all potentially read it at the very same moment and respond just as quickly... a million messages returning at once... Of course... with the creation of these perks, people must come up with reasoning for its flaws and the foolish aspects of considering internet time a part of life. Is it not in the eyes of the beholder? I've met the most wonderful girl in my life here... Right here, on this page this journal is coming up on. I've discovered new found motivation... I've made so many friends... learned so many things... All things that would not be a part of me without the internet. Without devianart... I can admit it... I'd be such a different person.

It's summer... time to sit alone and think... And I've thought very well. I thank you deviantart... I thank the people I've met here... Erikka... I thank you. I love you. And let this second wind continue to ride for so much longer. DivineNightmare ~2005-

I hope to learn and gain more over the times I'll keep having here.

-Anthony xXxacd

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Something I've never done before...
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MY lovely:
~Down-On-Paper
~XxXCold-InsanityXxX
~LinkinParkroxmasox

My bestest friends:
~AlmightyDavid
~Broken-Perfection
~deciduousxdreams
~rainboo
~love-on-the-rocks
~showmetheway

The rest of ya! The lovely and talented:












That... Looks.... RAD!